How community can solve the loneliness epidemic

Americans, both young and old, are lonelier than ever in today’s world. Hobbies keep us busy, but are we doing enough to connect with others?

By: Jake Boyette

Loneliness is something that we’ve all felt. While some people handle it better than others, even the most introverted among us still need some sort of human connection. 

Over the last decade, a worrying trend has popped up for adults in the U.S., who have recently felt more isolated and lonely. They have fewer friends and relationships and the numbers are getting lower each year. This has been coined the “loneliness epidemic” as the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common Project revealed that 21 percent of people felt lonely in the past 30 days, with people aged 18 to 44 being the loneliest. 

Being lonely, of course, feels horrible, but it also comes with physical issues. The United States Department of Health and Human Services links lacking social connection to being as harmful to long-term health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It increases the risk of hypertension and cardiovascular issues, while also causing multiple mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

Despite how harmful and widespread the loneliness epidemic is, the solutions are usually vague notions of community building and outreach. While the sentiment is nice, this isn’t an exact actionable way to escape the grips of loneliness. 

As someone in the range of the loneliest demographic, I am lucky I don’t feel lonely. When I was a teenager, I was affected by both anxiety and depression, which made it harder to connect with people. However, at 16, I forced myself to talk to other people to try and make friends. That’s when I started connecting with people through shared hobbies and activities. As an adult, I realized no one was lonely at these hobby shops and club spaces. I had met many people of different ages, genders and religions, all sharing a common love for their hobbies of choice. 

When I read through other articles and studies about the loneliness epidemic, which called upon communities to do outreach, I wondered if the solution isn’t just relying on the community but also on ourselves. You don’t get pulled out of loneliness just because someone comes and talks to you. There must be a mutual interest. That’s when I realized that getting a hobby is the best way to connect with others. 

I spoke with owner Don Lee Wilson of Games Unlimited. As the owner, he has had the opportunity to organize card game tournaments for 15 years in Tacoma, allowing card game players to meet and compete. In an interview, I asked him how his hobby made people less lonely. 

“They become less lonely 100%. I’ve seen so many people make friendships here. Having a place people can have a middle ground brings people together. I’ve seen people who’ve come in since 2010, and they are still coming around,” Wilson said. 

However, the Loneliness Epidemic is a widespread and multi-faceted issue. We are still feeling the effects of social awkwardness after the Covid pandemic lockdowns were lifted in 2023.  

The most significant cause of loneliness is that adults don’t share their real selves with others and don’t know how to form close friendships, according to the Making Caring Common Project. It’s not just enough for me to say that people should get out when they don’t feel like they can be themselves around others. 

The most significant advantage of going to these hobby spaces is that there is already a shared connection to discuss with new people. Without even having to say a word, everyone already knows you have an interest in card games, cosplay, anime, gaming, brewing, woodworking or whatever your special interest is.  

I’ve only played a few card games like Uno and poker, but as I walked into the Games Unlimited card tournament, they were playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, Lorkana and Magic the Gathering. People recognized that I didn’t understand what they were playing and explained who was winning and how the games worked. I was offered free cards to play with them if I wanted to try the game before the tournament. Everyone there was excited about the tournament and passionate about their game. 

“Even if you are introverted, once you’re talking to people in person, you express yourself much more. Having a centralized hobby is the ultimate ice breaker to forming deeper friendships,” Wilson said.  

There are other barriers to escaping loneliness. LGBTQIA+ individuals and minority groups are at an increased risk for loneliness, as stated by the United States Department of Health and Human Services. While there is no exact reason stated for this, I think it’s a fear that their identities won’t be accepted. 

While I was able to find a community at a young age that shared the same nerdy interests as me, not everyone was so lucky. Even after finding friends, I still worried if they would accept me for who I am. I still sometimes worry that I won’t be accepted into communities when I find new hobbies. It helps that while the world is becoming more inclusive, hobby groups seem to be, too. When you’re in the minority, it’s hard to feel as if you’ll find people who relate to you. 

“15 to 20 years ago, we would be shunned for having these hobbies,” Aaron Wong said, as an avid cosplayer and K-pop fan. “But in this growing community, we are more included, and there is more inclusivity. That’s why I like to go to these hobbies like cosplay and K-pop meetups, we build these interactions and relationships. We build these bonds with these shared interests.”  

While not all hobby groups are welcoming or inclusive, hearing this assured me that even if you are in a minority group, a shared hobby can help overcome those barriers.  

Online communities and chat groups also help with combating loneliness and allow people in different states and regions to feel more connected, but it doesn’t replace in-person social interaction. The internet also gives people with movement disabilities the opportunity to make friends without leaving the house. However, continuous use of social media to interact with others can lead to increased feelings of social isolation, coupled with comparisons to others. 

“Online, you can build a certain person, and you can’t see someone for who they are. There is a certain intimacy in in-person meet-ups. There aren’t any issues with being online, but there is something about being in person that feels more personal,” Wong said. 

When we are in person, we build stronger connections while also finding a physical community to attach ourselves to. This gives us a stronger feeling of community and belonging, so it’s important to find a hobby and to meet people in person, not just online. 

While it’s easy to see how hobbies can make people less lonely, it’s hard to get started. When I was a lonely teenager, I had to force myself to talk to others. It was only when I began to talk about how I loved video games and enjoyed anime I realized that the small action of sharing a piece of myself allowed me to be more comfortable in expressing myself to others. 

When it comes to combating the loneliness epidemic, you can’t just wait for someone to talk to you. You must be brave and vulnerable enough to express yourself and sharing your hobbies with like-minded people is a good way to become less lonely.