Love speaks louder than faith and conviction

How the things we hold close like faith, family and love inevitably find their way into the world around us in public discourse.

By: J.A. Aleman

Personal faith is just that, it’s personal. That faith is what helps many people move forward through life’s biggest struggles and questions.  

In light of this, it is difficult to keep this faith from coming to the surface and sharing it with those around us. This has often been frowned upon, and people have fought to keep faith separate from the state, instead for it to remain private. 

I have often pondered about what Jesus speaks of in the Gospels when he said that when we pray, we should go into our secret place and close the door. This is an example of our faith being private and our relationship with God being a personal one. 

He then says that your father in Heaven who sees you in secret will reward you in public. This tells me that at some point, we come out of this secret place and share what we have learned, seen and felt. That secret spiritual place then makes an appearance in the public arena. 

The most obvious thing is that not everything we communicate will come across as loving or agreeable to everyone. That’s the great thing about free will. We all get a choice of what will be important in our individual lives. For that matter, we all get to choose what will guide our lives. 

I’m certain we’ve all been waiting in line to enter some sort of event, where we see people holding signs that allude to people being sinners and proclaiming the end is near. I’m also certain that I’m not alone when I say, I’ve been annoyed at this sometimes. 

I’ve had time to reflect on moments like this and have concluded that it’s their faith that drives them to do this. I can’t always be sure that all of them feel love for everyone, but I can at least see the reason behind why they would stand there holding a sign. 

In the same way, I can see why Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde spoke up about unity at the inaugural prayer service on Jan. 21, with President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance in the front row. 

“We’re all people,” said Bishop Budde. “We’re both capable of good and bad. Separating good and evil passes not through states, not between classes, nor between political parties, but right through every human heart. And the more we realize this, the more room we have within ourselves for humility and openness to one another across our differences.” 

Bishop Budde continued, “in the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now.” 

She was referring to some in the LGBTQ community, as well as those in the undocumented community in America because Trump signed executive orders on Jan. 20 that would impact both. 

The executive order pertaining to immigration gives the Department of Homeland Security the authority to expand the nation’s detention infrastructure and gives Immigration Custom Enforcement (ICE) authority to perform arrests at schools, churches, hospitals and courthouses. 

The other executive order has to do with gender, specifically directing federal agencies to enforce laws governing sex-based rights. This means protecting the rights of biological men and women as distinct sexes and removing messages of gender ideology from the workplace, schools and sports. This includes the notion of gender being fluid and subjective rather than biological.  

ICE posted on X saying “our first priority is arresting the worst offenders. These criminal aliens WERE in our neighborhoods.” 

Updates are posted of individuals they’ve arrested with criminal records ranging from aggravated assault, drug possession, possession of child pornography, human trafficking and suspected acts of terror. 

We see these facts and we can say this is the right thing to do. I agree that it’s the right thing to do for our society. Individuals such as these should not be in our neighborhoods running free. The problem I have is when all undocumented people are looked at under the same scrutiny. 

I’m a son of immigrant parents and I’m proud to be. Yes, they are citizens now for those interested. It took years, even with amnesty when my mother ran away from a brutal civil war in El Salvador in the 70s and my father fleeing a communist government in Nicaragua. There’s a big difference between people who come illegally to America because they’re chasing the dream of a better life and an actual criminal who plants seeds of destruction. 

The mainstream media, government and ICE have to make that distinction clear on all sides. There are levels to criminality and there is a big difference between someone who breaks the law and those who violate it intentionally. 

Sometimes different faiths align because there are some similarities on the surface. I’ve also seen that we cry out in pain for ourselves or because of someone else’s suffering. This tells me there is a value to human life that we all see.  

The problem is that we can’t always agree on what that means. As a Christian, all people are image bearers of God to me. This means though I don’t know them personally, they aren’t just strangers, or people who are disconnected from me entirely. 

I agree with those that say there are two genders, and while I do listen to those who disagree, that is my opinion. Some would say that statement is hateful and has no love in it. However, that conclusion is wrong. 

My experience with gender ideology is one of a father looking after his children. From what I understand, the argument is the same on the other side. Except, from what I’ve seen, affirming gender ideology when it comes to children doesn’t always help. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling anyone what to do. I’m only communicating my opinion. 

Dr. Debra Soh is a Neuroscientist who specializes in human sexuality and gender. In 2020, Soh published her book “The End of Gender.” In the book, she recounts cancel culture in academia when she first spoke out against gender ideology and tackles what she calls the myths of gender in society. 

When I first read the book, I was interested to find out more about gender dysphoria and what parents and doctors of those children had to say on the matter. The consensus was that transitioning children was being pushed upon parents when there wasn’t enough research, specifically about puberty blockers and the lasting effects of transitioning, including reproductive sterilization. The other part was that society had a big influence on gender, particularly when it came to communities forming on social media. 

This made me think about my own children. I wanted to make sure they were alright and that no one else was influencing the way they think about themselves. My children don’t have phones, but they are allowed to use mine and their mother’s phone to call and text friends. This method provides a more controlled environment for them that allows them to grow on their own with guidance, but not the direct influence of others. 

Dr. Erica Anderson, a clinical psychologist and consultant, who has been at the forefront of transgender rights, told the LA Times that she believes to ignore social influence when it comes to gender identity is ignoring the reality of its impact. 

Dr. Anderson also told the Washington Post that to a fair number of kids, transgenderism is trendy in the social atmosphere. 

This means that doctors and parents should be more cautious when it comes to transitioning children and even adults in some cases, because we can’t rule out factors like social influence. 

Anderson, a transwoman, when working for the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at UC San Francisco Benioff Children’s Hospital, saw that many cases of transgender adolescents were complicated because of autism, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or mental health. These conditions predated the desire to transition and several of them didn’t question their gender before puberty. 

“We need to balance the interest of young people in terms of what they want and what they need. Parents are in a better position in some cases to determine what a child needs than the child themselves.” Anderson said in a recent appearance on the Snakk med Silje podcast. 

“To my chagrin, in America there are some child advocates who say, but children know who they are so just give them what they want. And I often ask myself, have you ever been a parent? Have you actually had children? Do you understand what children do?” 

In truth, when this became scary for me as a parent was when gender ideology was becoming a normal thing to speak about in society, specifically with children and society having to just accept it. That is what led to identity politics on gender in our communities. Those that didn’t agree with gender being fluid were told if they weren’t allies, then they were bigots and that was society’s favorite word for a time. 

I’m not against people living how they want or feel. What I am against is people telling me what I must do with the politics behind them and even aiming policies at children and parents, with the media demonizing most of the population in America for disagreeing on the issue. 

I understand the fear that many Americans feel, but we must remember that we don’t all have the same fears or the same worldview. Let us always keep in mind, this doesn’t have to mean we must have no love for one another.