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Bigfoot sighting at COVID-19 testing site

After circulating rumors that the urban legend was supposedly spotted at UW Tacoma, it’s been confirmed that Bigfoot made an appearance on campus in early March during COVID testing.

UW Tacoma has been offering free testing for students, faculty and staff through the Tacoma-Pierce County Health Department’s (TPCHD) mobile testing labs, some of which have already come to campus. When on campus, they also extend testing to the greater community and those in the near vicinity. 

A few weeks ago, when one of the mobile testing labs was stationed at UW Tacoma, it was rumored that urban legend, Bigfoot, made an appearance. The Ledger was able to get in touch with Registered Nurse Helena Dworian — who was working that day — as well as Taylor and Morgan Jacoby, longtime enthusiasts and followers of Bigfoot. 

The site was set up as a drive-through experience, and with rumors circulating across various social media platforms, it seemed unlikely that sightings were either true or credible. However, Dworian can confirm it was him. 

“I thought it was just another day of testing people at the drive-thru,” Dworian said. “At first I could have sworn it was just another hipster with long hair and a bushy beard driving his Subie, until I realized the hair was all over and he could barely fit in the driver’s seat!”

Despite the shock, Dworian noted she had to do what she was there for. 

“When I signed up to be a nurse, I knew I’d see all sorts of things. I just never expected one of those things to be Bigfoot,” she said. “But it’s my job. And I don’t discriminate, so I tested him like everyone else.” 

After the test was completed, Dworian said he grunted — what she believes to have been a ‘thank you’ — drove off and that was it. She then continued the rest of her shift as normal. 

Often characterized as a docile creature scarcely known to harm humans unless otherwise provoked, Taylor and Morgan Jacoby commented that this circumstantial contact with Bigfoot is highly probable.

“Despite not being present, I fully believe Dworian’s statement,” said Morgan. “From the two times I’ve encountered him while hiking, he has remained courteous and out of trouble, unless he catches someone littering or tampering with the surroundings.”  

With outdoor activities skyrocketing since the beginning of quarantine lockdowns coupled with the days of nice weather we’re currently experiencing, it’s possible that Bigfoot had been in contact with hikers or campers and wanted to maintain his health during this time.  

When asked what she thought, Taylor echoed a similar sentiment to Morgan’s.

“He’s been spotted in grocery store parking lots and on other town outings. From our observations, he is indeed a gentle creature,” she said. “I’ve seen him interact with other Sasquatch before, and from what I can imagine, he’d do what he can to keep those around him safe, even if that means traveling to a COVID testing site.” 

After more than a year since the lockdowns first went into effect and the multiple unpredictable events that have happened since, this isn’t something that seems entirely out of the blue. Instead, it serves as a friendly reminder that no matter who you are or where you come from, getting tested for COVID-19 should be a priority if you think you’ve been exposed or are experiencing symptoms. 

And one more thing to remember … have a happy April Fool’s Day!