Opinion

A young man’s guide to ‘being’

You won’t change the world- But you can make a difference in your community. You will see this trend in all aspects of life, even politics. While it’s fun to attempt to decipher a White House address to the nation, it’s actually more practical to participate in you’re local and state elections. You know, the one’s we all participate in by waving to the senior citizens holding the signs on our way to not voting?

Be the first to make fun of yourself- As there are terribly hostile youths out there who absolutely must project their hatred upon your person and it’s delicate sensibilities. Learn this early and learn to make fun of yourself before anyone gets a chance to. Learning how to take a joke is quite hard, especially for those of us whose aspirations in life springboard from confidence in ourselves, so throwing a jab at yourself after one of your manifestos makes any additional jab by another just tacky. And if this happens anyway, get some new friends.

Arguments aren’t about making sense- The term “winning an argument” is an oxymoron if you adhere to logic and common sense. If you find yourself in an argument, you have already ruled out the idea that anyone will be walking away a winner as arguments never end with someone admitting defeat. You might find that women are usually amazing at arguments, and subsequently find that you can lose an argument with a female even though you’re logic is sound. It’s not about right; it’s about loud and proud, however shameless. Men have also adopted this. Like the Spartans for example. Learning this early in life will allow you to focus on other great American pastimes like intelligent discussions, complimenting people, and racquetball.

Travel- Why does everyone list travel as their hobby on Facebook when they don’t? Probably because we all have the travel bug, however dormant. Give in to your inner Bourdain, Zimmerman, or even Jones and seek uncertain danger in the third world. No one returns from a trip overseas without a story or two that will either forever change his or her relationship with the world outside the U.S.A., or allow one to appreciate what we have here.

College isn’t about the degree (kind of) – College should be more than just a degree. There is a whole lot of life experience outside the Mattress Factory. So if you have to choose a place of “indentured servitude,” try and make it as practical and exotic as possible as we already know how to fetch coffee and take passive aggressive abuse from a talking head with a degree.

Learn to box- Men were bred for war. We have it in us and must simulate this need at the gym, competitive sports, or other unsavory conquests, be it with the opposite sex or with our careers. Why not skip all that poppycock and fight a dude. There is much to be learned about yourself when you are standing in front of an equal sized man with an intent to test your jaw. This isn’t just about learning to defend yourself, but conquering the “idea” of conflict. Here you will find what it means to tarry on through adversity, whether it’s to no avail or a triumphant victory, as well as learn what camaraderie through combat feels like. You will learn to appreciate this physical chess game and likely find you’re excess testosterone reserves depleted, making life outside the ring like that lovely water break in between rounds.