Rediscover the joy of giving this holiday season

The season of giving might be costing us more than just money. If not consumerism, what are we really celebrating?

The holidays are about being with loved ones and enjoying the time spent together. It’s also important to be charitable to your family and to others in your local community. 

These ideas seem easy enough to understand. However, I see that it can be difficult to act them out in our lives, mostly because of consumerism’s ability to blind us to what truly matters most. 

The holidays can be a stressful time and according to the American Psychological Association’s (APA) 2023 survey, which detailed the causes of stress during the holiday season, 22% of those surveyed were stressed about experiencing or anticipating family conflict. 

The same survey found that 30% felt pressure to make the holiday special and 58% felt stressed about spending too much or not having enough money to spend. Overall, nine out of ten adults said something would cause them stress during the holiday season. 

I thought about an article I wrote for The Ledger a couple months ago about how people are finding ways to overcome pressures. I pointed out that finding community is a great way to find peace in those moments of stress. When it comes to the holidays, I wondered if buying things is how people sometimes cope with stress. 

I’m reminded of the film “Christmas Vacation,” with Chevy Chase. In the film, Chase’s character stresses out about having the entire family over and it has to be the most perfect Christmas ever. This means everyone gets multiple presents. The tree, lights, decorations and food all have to be perfect. I’m stressed just writing it all down. That is a fantastical expectation to put on yourself that no one can hope to achieve. For a comedy though, it’s quite fitting. 

People plan to spend $1,000 or more for Christmas in 2024, which is slightly more than last year, when the figures showed about $100 less, according to a Gallup Poll in October. 

I can see how spending money on yourself could feel good, but I also thought about what spending money on others would make a person feel. If we’re going to spend money, we should spend it on loved ones who are an integral part of our lives. 

A study published on the Science.org website found that people overlook the benefits of being charitable with loved ones and others. The study suggested promoting prosocial spending would be worth it and the results of the experiments found this is what made people happier in the long run. 

I have friends who have told me that in years past, they spent every penny they have buying gifts, decorations and anything else related to the Christmas season. While they had presents for their kids, spouses, family and friends, I still asked them if it was worth it. 

Toys, clothes, electronics, games and more were the gifts my friends gave their families. I’m sure some they needed and some they didn’t. Still, it is pretty excessive when you have no money left until your next paycheck. This sounds like an unnecessary expense.  

My friend called me to wish me a happy holiday, but he understood that Christmas got away from them that year. When we got off the phone, they left me with the sentiment that it would never happen again. 

I was surprised when I found an article published by creditcards.com that showed that 27% of people will max out one card, 15% will max out 2 cards and 4% expect to max out 3 or more cards. It’s not just that, it’s that those surveyed were shown to have credit card debt already. 

Spending every bit of money we have is not worth it for the sake of just spending it. I love my friends, family, wife and children. But there is no way I’m spending every penny I have and more to make sure I, and they, have more material items than we already have. 

Let’s be clear, only in America do we have a holiday dedicated to giving thanks and then immediately the following day, we go and buy more stuff because it’s on sale. This to me is privilege to the highest degree. Knowing this, Americans still find their way to spend more money. When we do this, we should ask ourselves, who is really winning here? 

Mexico has been influenced by the U.S. and has their own version of Black Friday called El Bien Fin that’s celebrated in mid-November. The spending doesn’t stop there because we also have Cyber Monday in the U.S. For the entirety of Thanksgiving weekend, the stores are selling stuff we might need but realistically could live without. 

Let’s change the perspective of spending to being charitable instead, which will make buying something for someone have actual meaning. The holiday can’t be the only reason we buy others anything. Traditional as it may be, we are literally giving our hard-earned money to corporations for many things that are eventually thrown away or returned. 

Let’s consider what our loved ones actually need. Try investing in their hobby or something for their commute. My family knows I love reading, but even now I have many books waiting to be read, so buying me books would be a waste. Instead, I prefer their presence rather than a present.   

Strengthening relationships and mending broken ones is the point of the holiday season. No one in their right mind wants to close out the year wanting to be hated or hating anyone. This is a time of healing and appreciating the communities we are a part of. We should demonstrate that in such a way that builds community up, instead of tearing it down. 

Go to religious, family or community gatherings. If we have learned anything from the Grinch or from Ebenezer Scrooge, it’s that the people in our lives matter all year round, not just during the holidays. In addition, buying presents for the sake of simply buying them doesn’t elevate relationships, but love for each other does.